Yikes. I can't believe I did this.

Hello my fellow Awakener! 

I did something pretty crazy this passed weekend, and I knew I had to share it with you - because it’s a pretty similar experience to getting passed the things that hold you back from living your highest potential…and I know that’s something that’s been on your heart…

I have 3 biggest fears in my life, and I unexpectedly faced one just 2 days ago. 

The biggest fear I have in my life is regret on my death bed. In other words - living a life half-lived, because I kept delaying my dreams, my growth, my experiences due to fear, self doubt, worry about money, time…all that juicy ego stuff. 

But I have two other underlying fears that have been a part of me as far back as my memory will serve. The first is of drowning - which I continue to face so I can continually remind myself that fears are illusions that my ego would really love for me to believe.  The first time I learned to surf (also happened to be my first week I arrived to San Diego after I drove the entire west coast from Vancouver Canada by myself, this small town Island girl who gets major nerves driving in big cities!), anytime I go snorkelling, the time I did the under water Sea Trek in Mexico, or most recently went Snuba Diving in Hawaii - I am constantly hearing a loud inner voice from ego telling me that I should pretty much start shopping for a pine box, and that this is a ‘silly way to go.’

It's literally convincing me I might die if I go through with this.

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I’ve had nightmares the night before, I’ve reached full on panic mode, hyperventilating and wanting to get the hell out of the water in front of complete strangers. 

I flailed my arms around so much in panic mode just before Snuba Diving that I snapped the chord holding my GoPro camera to my wrist, where it sank to the bottom of the ocean.

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And still I went for it. 

I share this not because I’m looking for any kind of praise, but because I want you to know what’s possible.

Which brings me to this passed weekend…

My hubby Graham and I looove puppies and animals so we decided to randomly stop by a Pet Expo here in our city. 

We saw the cutest puppies, watched some agility runs, and even puppy pool diving. We met some vendors who create home made organic treats and even treated ourselves to some mini donuts! 

But then, in the corner of my eye - I frigging saw it.

A thick, long, slithering SNAKE. 

And not just any snake. An adult Boa Constrictor - you know, the kind that wraps around your neck until you can no longer function… ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was probably 50 feet away from it and still nervously yelled “Nooooooo!!!” which startled the woman standing next to me lol

I inched my way closer to get a better look.  YUP. It was big. Bigger than it looked from far away.

The fear-squasher in me wondered for a moment if the owner would let me hold it.

But immediately my hands got clammy and shaky, and I felt my mini donuts doing flips in my stomach.

“NOPE. Nevermind. Not worth the risk! Let’s get outta here!”

I got closer. The owner was letting people touch it. My hands grew even more clammy and I started to feel my face getting hot. 

This thing could lunge out at me at any split second, I was within it’s reach now. It could probably sense how nervous I was, which would make IT nervous, and want to protect itself. Right?!?!

Oh God…what am I doing right now???

My husband encouraged me to hold it. 

He knows how terrified I am of snakes, even baby garden snakes make me scream. 

For a split second I said yes, knowing this would be one of my ultimate fears being faced.

But then moments later, as my lunch was debating making a second appearance, I said “I don’t think I can do this.” 

Yes you can - my husband says, in an encouraging but non-pushy way. 

“F*ck it. Let’s do this.”

I asked if I could hold the snake. Then I asked a million more questions - will it get nervous because I’m nervous? Will it get caught in my hair and freak out?…

Next thing I know I’m feeling the weight of a real live Boa Constrictor wrap around my upper body, neck and arms….

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I remember seeing Britney Spears dance with a giant python during a performance of “Slave 4 U” and I got chills just watching her and thinking there was no way in hell I would EVER do ANYTHING like that for ANY amount of money! 

But here I was. 

I waited nervously for Graham to get a few photos and the snake handler starting talking about how this snake is “almost always friendly, there’s just one person it doesn’t like…”


I honestly did not want to hear anything about that at all until the snake was off me lol. But I did manage to relax into the experience and when it was all done, that familiar feeling of VICTORY over my fears/ego welled up inside me. 

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It may sound weird, but I love doing these things to remind myself that when I’m pursuing a dream or desire well outside my comfort zone - there will come times when my ego will tell me I can’t do it. It will give me a million terrifying reasons why I shouldn’t. 

It may even cause nightmares, sleepless nights, and sweaty palms.

And yet, I can still move forward - knowing that no matter the outcome - the VICTORY of at least having tried - is mine. 

And to me that is always worth it - whether I fall or fly.

Sometimes in life we get so caught up in the illusion of fear that ego creates, we actually believe that it’s real. And it’s only those who can take a step back, observe what’s actually happening, and move forward through the fear - that get to bask in the feeling of truly living beyond one’s limited comfort zone. 

The exhilaration, the breakthrough, the progress, the momentum, the dreams coming true, the next steps becoming clearer and clearer - are all on the other side of our greatest fears. 

What about you? 

Has there been something on your heart you’ve been desiring or dreaming of, and that old familiar inner critic has been pretty strong at convincing you to delay, procrastinate, or worse - not even try? 

One thing that all of my biggest breakthroughs have in common - from when I first decided I was going to leave my 9-5 and start my own business, to trying surfing, snorkelling, snuba diving and holding a massive snake for the first time - was that I had someone outside of my own head and fears - that guided me through the process. 

Someone that helped me uncover my fears as imposters, get over them, and move forward. That held me accountable, even when I was second guessing myself and getting ready to back out. And that supported me in my weakest of moments, UNTIL I made my desires and dreams, my reality. 

Like a personal trainer at a gym, who helps who push yourself far more than you would if you were by yourself - this is the power of having a trusted coach and/or mentor by your side if you have dreams and desires that are on the other side of your fears. 

This is especially powerful (and vital) for entrepreneurs, any leadership roles in corporate, or if you are growing your own network marketing team. 

If you’d like to uncover what’s truly holding you back from living your HIGHEST potential, if you’d like to move beyond your fears, beyond the self doubt, beyond the second guessing, and procrastinating - and step into the soul aligned powerhouse leader that you were born to be, you may want to check this out. Only a few spaces remain…Click here to see if you’re meant to rise as an Awakener, a soul powered leader for your Self and others…

Follow Your Heart Always,

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PS

Incase you’re skipping down to the bottom, you may want to practise feeling the fear and doing it anyway right now by joining me here. If you’re the type of woman who feels called to live a meaningful life and lead others to do the same, you may want to click here before the final few spaces are gone. This, right now, could be your last chance…

Jennifer Jayde Spencer