Worst Case Scenario
Hello my beautiful soul sister,
Today I want to admit something to you, something that I was terrified to do my whole life, in hopes that it may just set you free, too.
The short story is, I've been running my whole life.
Oh gosh, not physically. (I can't stand being cold, and treadmills repel me even more! lol...)
What I mean is, I've been running from fear. Fear of lack and scarcity. Fear of being so broke I bring on the panic attacks and anxiety I witnessed my mom have when we were both oh so young.
I became driven and ambitious at age 4.
And I never stopped running.
Helping my neighbours with their paper routes because the newspaper said I was too young to have my own.
Lemonade stands, that turned into kool-aid stands, that turned into home-made greeting card stands.
- Finally reaching the age to have my own paper route - and getting 2.
- Finally reaching the age to have a job in Canada, and getting 3.
- Rushing into finance, rushing into mortgages, rushing to grow my photography business, rushing to grow my coaching business...
I ran and I ran and I ran...until finally while at a Master Class with Gabby B in New York, she asked me "What are you running from?"
That was the moment it hit me... like a ton of bricks.
I've been running from fear all along. As far back as my memory could take me.
And, beauty, I was so tired of running.
I took the rest of the year (2016) to re-evaluate my path, what "success" actually means to me on a soul level,and my purpose.
And in 2017, my life completely changed.
What about you? Have you been running in your life, too? Rushing and ridiculing yourself, worrying and never quite feeling content where you are? Like joy is constantly just out of reach, if only you were a little bit further ahead...
If so, I can absolutely relate.
But here's the good news, beauty. I just spent an entire year dedicated to not running at all - for the both of us. That's right - I wanted to see, for both our sakes, what would happen if I took my foot COMPLETELY off the gas, because I wanted to see what would happen if I faced this fear dead in the eye.
My ego would tell me things like "if you aren't feeding your business and putting it first, if you DARE take your foot off the gas for even 1 day, you will fade away into the abyss and no one will care about you or what you do at all anymore. You're business will tank. You will have no income. Your peers will snicker and gossip about you behind your back, laughing that you thought you didn't have to grind anymore. You won't be able to pay your bills. Your husband will call you lazy. You will lose everything you've worked literally your entire life for..."
So yes, this felt like jumping off a cliff into a black hole and having no idea what my destiny would be.
But sometimes, , it's better to turn around and dive face-first through the big wave,than to run in fear away from it, hoping that it doesn't take you down.
So I dove.
And...to my surprise...all was well on the other side.
I mean, even better than it'd been before - when I was grinding my butt off daily.
I still ran my business, but my business was 2nd to my LIFE,instead of my life being second to my business.
Everything I did, personal, business or otherwise, was rooted in joy, not rushing and no big lofty goals with my self-worth attached to them.
And it happened to be my greatest, happiest, and most successful year of my life.
So if that is what can happen when I take my foot completely off the gas, imagine what's possible if you add even just a hint of fuel - which is what 2018 is all about for this phase of my adventure.
My #1 priority still is, and will always be, JOY.
But now I'm feeling rested, re-aligned, and ready to add a little fuel back to the fire, and I cannot WAIT to share with you what's coming around the corner, . I think you'll absolutely LOVE it!
Until then beauty - remember Ego pushes, and Intuition pulls. Allow yourself the stillness to feel your pull.
I love you, beauty, and I wish you an extraordinarily joyful, playful and adventurous 2018!
And remember, it's okay to stop running. In fact, coming into alignment with present JOY could be the very thing that propels you forward...
Follow Your Heart Always